What's Your Poison?
by watashi wa kyo2
Summary: Tony is not the luckiest guy and in this series of one-shots his luck is truly tested through many different poisons that will somehow be administered to him. Will feature the team, Fury, Loki, and whomever else is invited to join in on the fun of torturing Tony. Rated T for language and some of the imagery from the symptoms of each poison.


_AN: This is the first of a series of one-shots where I shamelessly poison Tony to my heart's content. If anyone has any poisons they want to be featured in this you can suggest them in a review :)_

_**Ethylene Glycol**_

_Ethylene Glycol's greatest usage is as an anti-freeze. In its pure form it is odorless, colorless, and is a sweet tasting liquid. Most common poisoning is found in children and pets because of its sweet taste. Once ingested symptoms can show up within only a few hours, but after the first day the poison attacks the person's central nervous system. If left untreated there is a high chance of death, and if they do not die their kidneys usually fail. There is an antidote but it must be administered relatively soon after ingestion._

_Disclaimer: I wish, I wish, upon a star, that I owned the Avengers once and for all... but that never happened_

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The team had been working non-stop for weeks fighting Doom bots, recapturing escaped villains, and just in general saving people. The endless action had left them tired and running on empty. Fury finally agreed to give them a week that did not involve any Avengers related work whatsoever.

For the first time in months Tony wasn't spending every spare moment he had repairing his suit and developing new gadgets for the rest of the team. At his house in Malibu after sleeping the entire first day, Tony, on the second day of Avengers Week Off, was sprawled underneath his flame colored 1932 Ford Flathead Roadster tinkering just like in the good-ole-days before the whole Afghanistan fiasco.

Several jugs of chemicals were on the floor and on his desk from where he had been changing some of the fluids earlier on. ACDC was blasting loudly as Tony continued fiddling with his masterpiece. Amongst all the chaos a lone figure trotted down the stairs and into the lab.

Dummy and You eyed the figure before returning their focus on the resident genius who was demanding for some tool to be handed down. When Dummy failed to give the right one Tony slid out from under the car only to jump out of his at the sight of the other person in the lab.

"Geez Cap, try to give a guy a heart attack, would yah!"

It took Steve a second to understand what Tony had said with the music on but once he figured it out a tiny look of guilt showed on his face before he replied.

"Sorry Tony, I guess you didn't hear me walk in with the music!"

Steve practically had to shout. Tony gave him a confused look before nodding, although it was obvious he still had no idea what Steve said. Wiping sweat from his face Tony gestured to something behind Steve and then motioned like he was drinking something.

"You want water?"

Tony nodded 'yes' and then grabbed the tool he needed before sliding back beneath the car. Absent-mindedly he shouted out, "My water bottle is on the right, not the left!"

Steve didn't hear a word so he made a split decision and grabbed one of the bottles holding a clear liquid. After smelling his choice and finding no odor Steve walked back over to where Tony was and tapped his outstretched leg with the bottle.

Tony's hand shot out from below the car and snatched the container from Steve's hands. He slid back out to smile at the captain before ripping the lid off and taking a big swig. Once the bottle was rendered half empty Tony put it on the ground next to his tool box ad returned to working on the vehicle.

Making shooing motions in his direction, Steve finally took the hint and left the lab, padding back up the steps and out of sight. A couple of hours after Steve left Tony started feeling a little off. He was becoming increasingly dizzy and nothing he was working on was making any sense.

When the headache it Tony chose to call it quits for the day and for once go and eat something. For some odd reason, though, his limbs would not listen and continued to move around and the exact things he didn't want them to do. He eventually managed to drag himself out from beneath the car and attempted to stand up by using the car as an anchor.

The world spun violently around him as Tony's dizziness showed up again and he fell, landing back onto the ground.

_Maybe I am dehydrated and I just need some water, _Tony reasoned and he clumsily tried to grasp the water bottle Steve had given him earlier.

He succeeded in only pushing the bottle over. Some of the liquid leaked out onto the floor from the partially screwed on cap. Dummy stared at his creator and Tony stared back.

"Dummy, give me my water bottle!" Tony shouted out over the sound of the still blasting music.

The robot rolled away from the bottle lying on the floor and went to the one sitting on the desk. Tony yelled at him to stop and pick up the one on the floor but the robot didn't listen. Once the new bottle was dropped on the floor beside Tony, Dummy looked at the genius making little noises.

"Dummy, this is anti-freeze. I can't drink this. This is poison! If I drink this bad stuff will happen like headaches, confusion, and-"

Tony completely cut himself off and a single thought kept repeating in his mind.

_Please let Cap have picked the right bottle. Please let Cap have picked the right bottle._

His mantra continued in his head as Tony decided to test out the morbid theory. He knew he had spent almost 15 minutes getting Dummy to tell the difference between his water and the anti-freeze, which looked the same.

_Earlier on that day..._

"_Now Dummy, when I ask for my water do not give me the anti-freeze, 'kay?" _

_The robot had looked at him and paid complete attention to Tony when he tested Dummy on which bottle was which. In order to make it much more challenging Tony had the exact same bottles and clear anti-freeze. _

"_If you get it wrong when I ask Dummy I will so donate you to a college."_

_After several tests Tony was 99.9% sure Dummy would get it right when he asked. _

Back to the present predicament...

Tony told Jarvis to turn down the music and then asked the fateful question.

"What is in the bottle I just spilled?"

"I believe that is the anti-freeze you were using earlier on, sir."

A tiny bit of fear and panic spiked in Tony's brain but he pushed it down. In a shaky voice he asked, "Why didn't you tell me that before I drank out of it?"

"You told me not to mention which bottle held what so Dummy wouldn't know during your 'learning exercise'. You even made me turn all my sensors off in regards to the liquids so that even I did not know which was anti-freeze and which was water, at least until you asked me to identify the one on the floor."

By the time Jarvis' speech was over Tony was already mentally kicking himself. It had seemed like a good idea at the time but now it seemed like the stupidest thing Tony had ever devised, and there was a long list of stupid things Tony had done.

"Jarvis, could you call 911 and tell them I poisoned myself?" Tony muttered from his position on the floor.

He had wondered when he drank the water why it was so sweet but he had figured it was because he was really thirsty. Now, his headache was killing him and the pounding was never ending.

He thought he might have heard Jarvis reply saying that he had called SHIELD's medical team in and they would be there in a few minutes but he couldn't even hear himself think with the loud sound of his own heart beating in his head.

The dizziness was not helping and before Tony knew it he wasn't sitting on the floor but rather sprawled out on it. True to Jarvis' word, and luckily for the billionaire, SHIELD's medics showed up in record time, almost as if they had expected something to come up, and transported Tony to the helicarrier's infirmary.

Tony's luck seemed to stick with him when he qualified for the antidote since the poison had only been in his system for a few hours, otherwise his kidney's would be failing him. He did have to stay in the infirmary for another two days for the doctors to monitor him to make sure that his kidneys weren't going to skip out on Tony.

Needless to say the team was angry that Tony hadn't had Jarvis inform them of his problem. Steve was especially afflicted by massive guilt over giving Tony the anti-freeze and Tony poked fun at him every time they were in the same room.

Avengers Week Off was labeled a failure and Fury cold be heard grumbling about having to keep the Avengers safe from each other and how stupid a genius could be.

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_Please Review!_

_I have several poisons I want to (hee hee) experiment with on Tony but if you guys have some you want to see please tell me through a review or private message. _


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